Let Me Sleep On It

Since my parents would not admit to kidnapping me from a king and queen somewhere, I finally relented and bought a new mattress. It arrives tomorrow.

Of course, now that I know I'll have a new mattress in a few days, I am even more bothered by the old one. Last night, I slept fitfully, waking up every hour and, when I finally fell back asleep, dreaming of the strangest things....

First, I dreamed that my husband and I attended play auditions together. The play was a musical children's show about a princess or something (not sure if there was a pea involved). He was cast as one of the main character's sisters (yes, you read that right), and before I went up to perform my audition piece, I realized that I hadn't learned the dance. I told the director to forget it, that I didn't want to audition after all because I had never been taught the dance, and he told me don't worry, come back in a few months for the next show's auditions. I was upset, because I really wanted a chance to be in the show, but I also wanted the director to fight for me a little.

My next dream had to do with my husband's brother's children. I was at his house, babysitting I think. Behind their house was a gigantic swimming pool that actually belonged to their neighbor, but anyone was welcome to use it. It was unlike any other pool I've ever seen, with treasure chests and things under the water, and hidden rooms (even a bathroom). That was a pretty cool dream, but it would have been cooler if I could have figured out how the bathroom was supposed to work.

My husband's other brother appeared in the last dream. Somewhere, he had obtained a taser (although it was much bigger than an actual taser) and was having fun tasering everyone at a family get-together. In fact, one of my sisters-in-law bragged that she could withstand the taser for 10 minutes. (Note: If, for some reason, someone brought a taser to one of my husband's family's get-togethers, I think that is probably how things would go down). My brother-in-law kept trying to tase me, and I kept telling him not to. He wouldn't let up, so eventually, I got so mad that I slapped him across the face. I still kind of feel bad about that, actually, but I do hit like a girl, so I'm pretty sure he wasn't hurt.

Maybe I ought to get a hotel room tonight, just so I don't have to sleep on that mattress again.