Now that I'm a glamorous would-be movie actress, I've been thinking about ways to capitalize on what I'm sure will become a hot streak in show business. So I've come up with some guest roles I could play on popular television shows. I figure it's inevitable that the phone calls will begin pouring in, if I actually get to be in Batman, and if I actually get to do something on camera.
Heroes -- I got into this show last year and can't wait for the new season to begin. When they come calling, I'd like to be a guest star hero. I don't really care what kind of power they want to give me, as long as I get to do a naked scene or two with Sendhil Ramamurthy.
Flight of the Conchords -- This is my new favorite TV show, about two guys from New Zealand who come to New York to make it big on the music scene with their two-man band. On the show, the guys have only one fan, this dorky girl/crazed lunatic (who reminds me of a girl I went to high school with, except she wasn't a crazed lunatic, but in case she grew up to become a crazed lunatic, I won't mention her name). Anyway, I figure when I do my guest spot on that show, I'll play the crazed lunatic's also crazed but much hotter cousin. Of course, I'll have to work on getting hot first, but I have a little time.
The Simpsons -- No star such as myself could pass up a chance to be on this hit show! I think for this one I'd probably pull out the voice formerly reserved for my stuffed pig friends. I'm sure my good pal Wayne Hamm would expect me to use that voice to play Barry White, but honestly,with that voice, I think I'd probably play one of Krusty the Clown's cartoon friends.
Alright, Hollywood. I await your call.
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