Awesomely 80s

Yesterday, I did a fun good deed. After a conversation with a coworker about the very large number of 80s bands she's never heard of, I went home and made her a CD of fantastic music. Included were hits she didn't know from Devo, A Flock of Seagulls, The GoGos, Oingo Boingo and others.

She kind of hated it, because she hates 80s music. But she appreciated the gesture and decided to pay it forward by giving the CD to another of my coworkers.

(Another) Two for the Show

Yesterday's good deed was feeding Ivan (our pet fish) when it was my husband's turn, because he wasn't going to be around at dinner time.

I'm not sure about today's yet, but I have a special good deed on tap for tomorrow. I'll be volunteering at a homeless shelter. More on that later.

A Friend In Deed

During this Lenten season, I've learned that doing good deeds isn't difficult, but doing interesting good deeds often is.

Yesterday's good deed was keeping an eye on Stel while my hub was in another room and needing her away, because he had papers all over the floor that he didn't want her to eat.

I haven't figured one out for today yet, but I'm sure it will be equally as boring.

The one good thing I have found is that I'm more apt to notice and appreciate the good deeds others do for me. Whether it is my husband getting up with the dog on a day it is my turn or a clerk helping me find something in a store, I really appreciate those nice small things.

So Many Good Deeds, So Little Time To Write About Them

It's been awhile since I've updated my good deeds, so here's a rundown from the past week, going backwards.

Today's good deed was another pleasant conversation with someone I don't like. Not the same person as before though. This time, my pleasant conversation was with my downstairs neighbor, Mr. McCrochety. This was a very difficult good deed to do.

Yesterday's good deed was being patient with the hapless waitress who waited on me, my husband, three of his sisters and their significant others. She did fine, considering the largeness of the group, but she never did bring the water I asked for, and she had to talk to me three times about the kind of bread that would be used for the sandwich I ordered. But I went easy on her because I had deviated from the menu to begin with, and she seemed genuinely sorry about the whole bread thing.

Friday's good deed was a work thing, so I don't really want to talk about it, since I don't like to blog about my job.

Thursday, I made dinner, even though I hurt my foot somehow, and it was really killing me.

Wednesday was another work good deed.

Tuesday, I sent a birthday card and gift to a friend I don't talk to very often and haven't really exchanged gifts with since high school. But I thought she'd like both the card and the gift (she e-mailed me the other day to confirm this), so I thought it would be a nice thing to do.

Monday's was another work thing, and it kind of ended up backfiring. I did something I thought was above and beyond, and I ended up being asked why I didn't just do the minimum. My bad. But I still count it as a good deed because I thought I was doing something nice.

Last Sunday, I videotaped my husband shoveling water out of the garage so he can show it to the condo association people and get the flooding problem fixed.

Last Saturday, I saved a life. No, really. Stella got a hold of a plastic lei that was around the fishbowl where my betta, Ivan, lives, and she was pulling it -- and, consequently, the bowl -- to the edge of the coffee table. I got there just in time before Ivan and his bowl came crashing to the floor. I also did a good deed for myself by getting an 80 minute massage.

And finally, last Friday, I rearranged my day so that everyone who needed me for something would have me when they needed me, even if it was inconvenient for me.

O No

I promise to update my list of good deeds soon, but first, I must comment on a billboard I spotted over the weekend.

I was driving back to the suburbs after a lunch in the city, and near the exit for Harpo studios (where Oprah Winfrey tapes her show), there was a billboard that said, "Oprah, please do a show on puppy mills. The dogs need you!" There was a Web address too, of what I assume to be some animal rights organization.

Why is it that everyone turns to Oprah to solve their problems? I can't tell you how many times I heard as a newspaper reporter, "I don't know why Oprah doesn't do something about this."

In my most cynical moments, I often think that these people are everything that's wrong with the world. Granted, Oprah has done a lot of good things for people (and probably animals, too), but should we really be turning to her when we have a problem?

If these activists want something done about puppy mills, why don't they write to their state leaders? They're the people who make the laws, not Oprah, who is (sorry to break it to you, folks) an entertainer.

Why do people rely on entertainers to solve their problems? Oprah should do a show about that.

Good Takes Time

For yesterday's good deed, I served my community. I serve on a commission that puts on community events, gives scholarships to local high school students, etc. Last night was the monthly meeting, and I went, and when I was volunteered for a project, I didn't protest, even though I really have no time to do what they want me to do. I'll just make the time.

I'm not sure about my good deed for today, but my guess is it will have something to do with being nice to my puppy even though she's been eating all my yarn and toilet paper.

Sometime, Anytime, Sugar Me Sweet

Over the weekend, I was telling someone about my good deeds, and she said she did something similar a few years ago. Instead of good deeds, however, she made it a point to say nice things to people she disliked or who upset her. She said it made her more patient and tolerant.

I liked that idea. There aren't too many people in this world I genuinely dislike, but I'm not very good hiding my feelings for those few. I'm never rude, but it's hard for me to go beyond "not rude." One of the things I've always admired about my husband is his ability to be pleasant to anyone under any circumstances. He very rarely lets his feathers get ruffled, or, when he does, he finds a healthy way to vent and then goes right back to being pleasant. I would like to be able to do that.

So yesterday, I struck up a pleasant conversation with someone I dislike. It wasn't so bad. I don't know if it will really help us overcome our differences and become closer, but I think it was a good exercise for me nonetheless.

My good deed for today was bringing in a Wii game for a coworker to borrow.

Have You Had Your Sprinkle Today?

My good deed for today is a little weird, because it absolutely is something I would normally do in the course of a day, but I figure I can count it as a good deed because I did it today for a different reason than I normally do it.

The thing is, I spent all day playing Wii. Seriously all day -- I started somewhere between 10:30 and 11, and I stopped around 6. (I beat my first game ever, too.) So by that time, when it was dark and I was still sitting there in the pajamas I wore to bed last night, I figured there was really no reason to bother going through the motions of getting dressed, or even showering.

But in the end, I decided I probably should at least shower, because even though I'd just been sitting all day and probably didn't smell all that bad, my husband has to sleep right next to me. So out of respect for him (and myself, really, because I'd feel awful knowing my own husband thought I smelled bad) I bathed.

You're welcome, sweetheart.

A Little Cheese, A Little Whine

I did two good deeds today, although one was a good deed of omission, so it probably doesn't count.

The first good deed was, my husband and I helped stack chairs and collect trash after a wine tasting we attended.

The other good deed was not thinking mean thoughts about a lady at the wine tasting who told me congratulations because she'd heard that one of the women involved in the group that planned the wine tasting was pregnant and assumed it was me. In her (or my) defense, this lady has only met us a couple of times, never remembers names and didn't even recognize me the two times I've run into her in public, so it was definitely a mistaken identity thing, not a "she looks pregnant" thing. Even so, it made me want to work a little extra hard at the gym tomorrow.

Don't Sweat It

My good deed opportunity visited me at the gym today.

I usually sign up for one particular machine, and when I arrived, no one had yet signed up for it. I looked, and there was someone on it. I could have signed up for the time slot and kicked her off, but I didn't. I rode the bike instead.

An Open Letter To People Who Take Children To Target, Especially The Ladies Who Took The Kid I Encountered Today

Dear People Who Take Children To Target, Especially The Ladies Who Took The Kid I Encountered Today,

When the kid you've taken shopping is standing in the middle of the aisle yelling "Mom! Gramma! Mom! Gramma! Mom! Gramma! Where are you?" and you answer, "hiding from you," it makes the other shoppers hate you, because although you may think it's cute hearing the kid singing "Gramma, Gramma, Grammagrammagramma, Gramma, Gramma, Grammagrammagramma" over and over again, trust me, your feelings are not shared by your fellow Target shoppers.

Furthermore, playing hide and seek with a small child in the middle of Target is a really stupid idea.

Sincerely,
Erika

The Price Of Happiness? Seven Cents.

This morning, I was in a bad mood for no good reason, so to cheer myself up, I stopped at Starbucks for a latte. (I rarely have caffeine these days, so I when I do have it, it's a real treat.) My drink cost $4.07, and when I handed the guy five one-dollar bills, he handed one back to me and said, "I've got the seven cents."

I'm not sure if it's good deed karma coming back to me, or if he could just tell that I was feeling crabby, but it definitely brightened my day. It just goes to show that even the little things can make a big difference.

I'll Buy A Vowel...And A Hot Stone Massage

It's only my second day of good deeds, and this one isn't all that exciting, but it was kind of a slow day.

My husband is in desperate need of some pampering, so for his birthday in November, I gave him a gift certificate for a massage at the place I go. He's been saving it (and, I think, putting it off because he's uncertain about the whole massage thing), but today, I mentioned needing a massage myself, and he suggested going together.

There was no availability for me (different kind of massage, different appointment schedule), but while I was inquiring, I checked out times for him too.

He ended up chickening out again. But I think I deserve credit for looking.

In other news, my brother-in-law called tonight to tell us he's been chosen to appear on Wheel of Fortune. I'm really excited for him; I just hope he doesn't turn out to be one of those people who scream out the letters.

"L!"

Just talk like a normal person, okay?

40 Deeds and 40 Nights

Today is the first day of Lent, which for most people means the first day of depriving onesself of some pleasurable thing. Most people I know give up a food item, but I've also known a few who tried to give up bad habits like swearing.

I'm not what you'd call religious, although I do attend Mass. But the one religious tradition I do throw myself into is Lent. I like the idea of taking a period of time to improve something I don't like about myself. Giving up a food item or bad habit is pretty much a losing battle for me, though, plus when it comes to food especially, I'm pretty much trying to give up those bad habits all year long.

So this year, I've decided to do something different. I'm going to try to do one good deed every day. I like doing nice things for people, but the truth is, I rarely go the extra mile. So I think that doing a good deed every day will put me on the path to becoming a more helpful person.

The rules are simple: a good deed has to be something I wouldn't normally do, and I can't do the same good deed for the same person more than once.

For today's good deed, I did the same thing someone did for me the other day that I so appreciated: I cleaned the snow off all the cars of my coworkers when I left for the day. Two of them came out while I was working, and I think they thought it was a little weird when they saw me brushing snow off all their cars, but considering the inches of heavy, wet snow that had accumulated today, I think they appreciated it too.

A Neighborly Day In This Beauty Wood

It was a long, wearying weekend, to say the least. I had planned to hibernate this winter, but just over a month into 2008, I realize that's not going to happen.

Yesterday, I was so exhausted that I actually fell asleep in the car on the way home from my husband's parents' house. I'm not a napper; I actually don't have the ability to fall asleep in the middle of the day or anywhere except my bed unless I am sick or beyond tired, so I must be more worn down than I thought.

To top things off, it snowed again last night. Somewhere between the hours of 6 and 10, we got a couple more inches. The first thought I had when I awoke this morning was, ugh, I'm going to have to clean off my car. Imagine my surprise when I took Stella out for her morning pee and noticed that someone had already cleaned it for me.

I think it might have been the guy who lives upstairs from us; I came home while he was shoveling out his parking spot the other night and had a chat with him about the snow. I know for a fact it wasn't McCrochety; his own car was still covered, plus he's really not the type to do a nice thing for its own sake.

Whoever did it, I'm very grateful. It's a small thing, but it meant a lot to me that someone took the time. And I hope that knowing he or she committed a random act of kindness brightened his or her day as much as the act brightened mine.

Always Unthinkable, Never Impossible

Whenever tragedy strikes any community, local news outlets inevitably quote at least one bystander as saying, "things like that just don't happen here."

I'm not naive enough to believe that's true; there is no such thing as a "here" where bad things don't happen. I learned that the hard way long ago. But that doesn't make it any less horrifying when tragedy strikes your town.

Yesterday, five women were shot and killed in a Lane Bryant store not four miles from where I live, and only a few doors away from the Super Target where I do my grocery shopping and the Petsmart where I take my dog for obedience classes. After so many public shootings in recent years, no one shopping in that center could have said with any confidence, "that wouldn't happen here." But by the same token, you don't expect to see a man with a gun while you're out picking up your week's groceries or shopping for a new dress.

I've been reading the book "The Stranger Beside Me," true crime author Ann Rule's account of the murders committed by famed serial killer Ted Bundy. Rule and Bundy had been friends; they'd met while volunteering together at a crisis center and spent many hours chatting together. Years later, Rule, a journalist at the time, was reporting on the murders of young women in Washington and Oregon when she realized that much of the evidence police had gathered pointed toward her old friend. In the book, she details her personal struggle as both a journalist at Bundy's friend, and she tells the stories of the women who died, and the women who lived.

Yesterday morning, before I heard about the murders at the Lane Bryant store, I was reading a passage in the book about murders Bundy committed in a sorority house in Florida after escaping from prison in Colorado. Two women were killed, and two were severely injured. Reading what happened to them turned my stomach, but even scarier to me were the details about the other women who lived in the sorority house. One escaped injury by a fraction of a second, having walked down the hall from the bathroom to her bedroom at the exact right time to just miss Bundy. Another entered the back door just as Bundy went running out the front.

Whenever senseless things like this happen, there seems to be a very thin line dividing those who live and those who die. Something as simple as Saturday shopping can get a person shot, while staying out late with friends can mean escaping a violent murder. And the faceless serial killer you're having nightmares about every night can turn out to be the nice man who sits next to you at work.

Police aren't sharing many details about yesterday's shootings, other than to say they believe the man has left the area. Until they can say more, I just won't be able to relax. While I am confident that police are doing everything they can, I couldn't help checking my locks three times before I went to sleep last night or looking around at church this morning for a man who fit the description of the suspect.

I've always known it could happen here, but now that it has, I can't help wondering when it will happen again.