1. Talk on the phone as if I'm talking to someone other than who I am actually talking to so that someone standing in the same room I'm in doesn't realize who I'm really talking to.
Hello?
Erika, it's me, your husband.
Yes, hello. I'm glad you called.
I know you must have been worried that the kidnappers killed me.
Yes, yes, I was curious about that. But I would like to change my order from the kung pao chicken to the moo shu pork.
Are the kidnappers there with you now?
They are. And please, don't forget the egg rolls this time.
2. Have a shopping montage and come home with bags and bags of new clothes.
3. Have an argument while talking on my flip phone and slam it shut to hang up on the person.
4. Do a spontaneous yet perfectly choreographed dance in the street with a bunch of strangers.
5. Throw a drink in someone's face.
6. Have a madcap day/night in the big city.
7. Go to a wedding where someone objects or runs.
8. Solve a big mystery, even though I have absolutely no investigative capabilities or intuition about that sort of thing.
9. Walk into a grocery store only to find out I am the millionth customer when sirens go off and balloons drop on me.
10. As part of a spa day, get a facial mask and cucumber slices over my eyes, and eat the cucumber slices.
1 comment:
we can do a few of these things when you come to visit. the cuke slices, shopping bags, madcap day in the city and throwing a drink in someones face. that might work well if i open my mouth first. you know you can't let a good drink go to waste!
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