How I Learned To Drive

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, the caregiver of the year and her soul mate of the road.

This evening, my husband and I were on our way home from picking up dinner, when, as we came to a halt at a stoplight, we saw a woman in the lane next to us jump out of her car.

"Hey!" she yelled to the driver of the car behind her, which happened to be right next to our car. "I've got kids in the car, asshole!"

The driver she'd yelled at gave back a bewildered, "okay, bitch," as the woman got back into her car.

"Funny," I commented to my husband. "Whatever he was doing was so bad that she had to protect those kids from his actions but didn't think twice about jumping out of her vehicle in the middle of a busy street and screaming obscenities in front of those kids."

As we continued down the road, the driver of the second car, obviously over the surprise of the woman screaming at him, began to taunt her by riding as close to her back bumper as possible. I was glad when we were able to pass them, because whatever happened, I didn't want to be caught in the middle of it.

It's a good thing, too, because a few seconds later, I heard a loud screech behind me. I looked in my rearview mirror, and the man's car had either hit or nearly hit the woman's. Curiously, the car in front of the woman's was several car lengths ahead, meaning that she had stopped suddenly on purpose so the man would either hit or nearly hit her.

What a fine example to set for those kids in her car.

We went home, ate dinner and cleaned up, and about half an hour later, I drove back down that same road to run an errand. By the side of the road were the woman's car, the man's car and a police car. I didn't see any obvious damage to either vehicle, but whatever happened and whoever called the police, I hope both the woman and the man were cited for reckless driving.

I completely understand road rage; I've had it myself. But I have never even been tempted to jump out of my vehicle to yell at another driver. It's dangerous and stupid. At best, all it accomplishes is giving someone else fodder to laugh at you, and possibly blog about you. But to feed the fire of someone who has screamed at you is just as bad. This woman was obviously a loose cannon; the man would have done better to simply get out of her lane.

Then again, maybe these two drivers deserve to be on the road together. Let them battle it out and leave the highways free for the rest of us, and for those kids in that woman's car. After the lesson they learned today, they're gonna need all the help they can get.