The Key To One-Eyed Willy

I don't know if I'm thrilled or horrified by the news that there may be a Goonies musical on the horizon.

I haven't really been all that eager to see musical versions of popular movies, a Broadway trend of late. I've heard good things about The Wedding Singer and Legally Blonde on the Great White Way, but I don't really have a desire to see them.

But The Goonies might be different. That was my all-time favorite movie for years, until Waiting For Guffman came along. I vividly remember going to see it in the theatre with my parents when I was a kid, and spouting quote upon quote to anyone who would listen, which I still do on occasion. Even today, I could probably recite the entire script verbatim if pressed.

When the movie came out, it was the ultimate fantasy for me. I wanted to know the characters and be a part of their lives. I longed for a sequel that never materialized, wanting to know more of the story.

Now I might get what I've been wanting, in the form of a musical. It certainly has possibilities to be amazing -- even more amazing than that time Michael Jackson came over to my house to use the bathroom. The article I linked mentioned a "Truffle Shuffle" dance number, which I don't even need to say would be awesome. I would eat that up like a pint of Super Duper Chocolate Eruption.

I have a few song ideas, too.

- A Spanish duet by Mouth and housemaid Rosalita.
- A rousing musical listing of ice cream varities by Chunk. A reprise could include tales of pranks he'd played, culminating in the classic "fake puke in the movie theatre" gag.
- A song about inventions by Data, containing all sorts of mispronounced words.
- "Troy's Bucket," a heartfelt ballad by Mikey.
- And, of course, there would have to be a battle type song between the rich kids, lead by Troy Perkins, and the scrappy kids, lead by Mikey.

If it materializes, I think I'll have to check out the musical when it gets to Chicago. I just hope they don't ruin it. It's one of the few things from my childhood that still holds much of its original magic. But if it works, it will be the best invention since Slick Shoes.