Next Time, Just Trust Me

I went to bed early last night, so when I awoke to use the bathroom, my husband was still up.

"You're up late," I said.

"Yeah, I was looking at Canon stuff." This wasn't a surprise. He often stays up late to check out camera equipment, fantasize about buying it, and then decide against the purchase in case something better comes out soon.

I tell a lot of bad jokes when I'm tired and told one now. But he didn't hear me. I repeated the joke, which wasn't funny enough to have really said even once, and once again, he asked me what I'd said.

"Never mind," I said. "It's not funny enough to say three times."

I should mention, this happens all the time. He says I mumble, and I say he doesn't listen. I'm not sure which one of us is correct, but no one else ever asks me to repeat myself three times. In any case, at this point, exasperated, he asked me again to tell him what I'd said.

"I was wondering if you were going to be a Civil War re-enactor!" I yelled. "You said you were looking at cannon stuff!"

Pause.

"Now, was that really worth waiting for?" I asked. Correct answer: no.

He shrugged. "I laughed."