Monday, December 08, 2008

Set Up Your Microscope and Tell Me What You See, You'll Still Know Nothing About Me

A few of my Facebook friends have made lists like this, of facts about themselves. I wanted to try for 100 things, but that's a lot of stuff, and I'm barely interesting enough for 50 things. Maybe I'll add more later if I feel a surge of fun factness.

1. I am a complete grammar snob.

2. I am always cold. Physically, I mean. Though sometimes emotionally as well, I'll admit. I don't think many people would describe me as a warm, loving person.

3. If I could hire just one person to do just one thing for me, it would be someone who would pick out my clothes. I have no fashion sense whatsoever.

4. I once got a funny anecdote published in Reader's Digest. And I got $300 for it.

5. My husband and my sister's husband were born on the exact same day. Same year and everything. The funniest part is, they have very little else in common.

6. I would love to live in my old hometown, if my old hometown could be picked up and plunked somewhere an hour or less from a major city.

7. I love reading advice columns.

8. The only dairy foods I really miss are ice cream and pizza.

9. When I don't have to drive anywhere, I love a huge-ass snow. I love a hard rain almost anytime.

10. The thought of having children scares the bejesus out of me.

11. I never want a surprise party thrown for me, because I hate the idea of being intentionally left out of something everyone else knows.

12. I hate spending the night in a house by myself. Always have. It's alright if I'm in the bed alone, but I like having someone else close by.

13. My favorite season is Fall.

14. I would love to have a piano in my house and learn to play again.

15. I would also love to have a house.

16. It drives me up the wall when people use "hun" as a term of endearment.

17. I love Starbursts and at one time not so very long ago would eat them until I felt ill. I've toned it down a bit now and only eat them in manageable doses. Mostly.

18. I once dressed up as a Spice Girl to dance for a guy on Valentine's Day. And it wasn't even my boyfriend; it was the boyfriend of an acquaintance. She dressed up as Ginger, and four of her friends rounded out the group. In a stunning display of my acting talent, I portrayed Sporty Spice. However, that was nothing compared to my very white friend Miranda who dressed as Scary.

19. Every single time I watch the last scene of
Dead Poet's Society, I cry. I don't even have to watch the rest of the movie.

20. I once played a lady-in-waiting at the Pennsylvania Renaissance Faire. It wasn't a great experience altogether, but someday, it will be novel fodder, so not for nothing.

21. I hate weddings. I don't mind attending them, but I don't care to hear about the planning.

22. My mother has told me that she thinks I am her mother reincarnated. Given what I've heard about my grandmother, this could have been a compliment, an insult, or a little of both.

23. I was a live-in nanny for about seven months. The little girl I cared for is the one and only child who has ever made me think having kids might not be so bad.

24. The other thing on my pro list for having kids is the fact that lactose intolerant women often eat dairy without problems when they are pregnant.

25. I care nothing for celebrity gossip, but I will read about true crime all day long.

26. I didn't like Napoleon Dynamite or Edward Scissorhands, and so many people I know love both of those.

27. If I could have designed a man for myself, my husband looks exactly like that man.

28. He has none of that man's hobbies.

29. Birds freak me out.

30. When I was a little kid, my dream job was to be a "storekeeper," which basically meant grocery store cashier. I fulfilled that dream at 17 with a six-month stint at Greco's Market. It would have been longer, but alas, that was the entire time Greco's was open for business.

31. I can't stand Seinfeld. If I even hear the little twangy guitar noise come from my TV, I will leap over things to get to the remote so I can change the channel.

32. Growing up, I never wanted to go into journalism or writing of any kind. Funny how things change.

33. Even though I live in the Central Time Zone, I start my new year at Midnight in Eastern Time.

34. I have a sewing machine, but all I have managed to sew are wobbly-seamed blankets for Stella.

35. I think it would be fun to sing in an Abba tribute band.

36. Sometimes I think it would be fun to go back in time, Peggy Sue Got Married style. I'd like to try my high school years again knowing what I know now, just to see what would happen.

37. I never liked sweet potatoes until this year.

38. If I ever do have kids, the words of wisdom I plan to make them remember me by is "never pass up the chance to use the bathroom."

39. Unless it is horribly inconvenient, I always always take the stairs instead of an elevator.

40. When I was little, I had an imaginary friend named Pigeon. She lived in my mailbox with her family and grew to regular size when she came out of the mailbox. When my sister's best friend and our neighbor, Dani, moved to Massachusetts, Pigeon moved there too, to live in Dani's mailbox.

41. I love board games.

42. I think I would have fit in great in the 1950s and think it would be fun to time travel there.

43. My handwriting and memory were both a lot better before I got a job as a newspaper reporter.

44. In my acting days, I performed in a toga not one, not two, but three times.

45. If I had to choose a sitcom house to live in, I think I'd pick the Seavers' house on Growing Pains. I'd decorate a little differently though.

46. I've been hanging on to my Doc Martens for years in the hopes that everyone will start wearing them again.

47. I love the Golden Girls.

48. If I could have a famous friend, I would want it to be Christopher Guest.

49. If I ever become super wealthy and start a charitable organization, I'd like it to be a foundation that promotes literacy.

50. I don't care for crass humor, but I truly enjoy a good That's What She Said joke.

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