Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Jobs I Am Glad Other People Are Willing To Do, Because I'm Sure As Hell Never Going To Do Them

This list was inspired by a photo a coworker's husband, who is an iron worker, sent her today from the top of the not-yet-finished third highest building in Chicago. I got to thinking how they couldn't pay me enough spend day after day up that high -- especially after my coworker told me they often have to climb ladders and scaffolds all the way up -- and decided to make a list (in no particular order) of other things I would never want to do for a living.

1. Police officer
2. Firefighter
3. Colonoscopy technician
4. Doctor of any sort, except maybe eye, because that's probably not too gross
5. Costumed character at Chuck E. Cheese or similar establishment
6. Kindergarten teacher (or basically anything to do with children, unless I could be Santa Claus, because if he outsources the whole mall thing, he doesn't have to see kids at all)
7. Amusement park worker (children again, and the possibility of having to clean up vomit)
8. Personal assistant
9. Nun (though I do like the idea of not having to decide what to wear every day)
10. Trash collector
11. Any math related job
12. Laundress, particularly for an athletic team
13. Gangsta rapper
14. Wedding coordinator (unless I could just do whatever I wanted without having to consult the happy couple)
15. Cab driver
16. Clown
17. Publicist
18. Port-a-Potty porter
19. Racecar driver/mechanic/anything to do with racing or cars in general
20. Clyde Peeling
21. Anyone who works at a mall kiosk and has to chase down unsuspecting shoppers in the name of selling cell phones/hair straighteners/skin care products/rice with stuff written on it/etc.
22. Beekeeper
23. Reality TV show host
24. Mover
25. Traffic reporter

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